the calm before the storm.

good news - i AM an enigma!
after my quadruple tooth extraction, my face did not swell :)
i was given 2 different pain prescriptions - 1 of which i only took for 2 days because it was weak and preventing me from driving. the pain, though irritating, was bearable :)
after i woke up from the initial deep slumber i was a normal, functioning human being :)
i never used the ice pack, nor the anti-nausea medication they gave me :)

from what i hear, surgery took about 20 minutes. when i was coherent, they walked me to a "wake up" room, put me in a recliner and covered me with a blanket for a few minutes while i got it together. they had avatar on the big screen, but i was more interested in the drooling guy to my left. he looked a hot mess. all i kept thinking was "do i look like that?" shortly after, the dental assistant came to get me, she told me my mom had pulled around to the back and that she would help me to the car. that's when i knew, i had to be disfigured or they would have walked my behind right through the lobby from whence i came.
i immediately pulled down the mirror to check myself out. 1st of all, they didn't wanna wipe the blood splatters off my cheeks? 2nd, my mouth was filled was gauze. that's why ol' boy in the chair next to me was looking so attractive. 3rd, the gauze was slowly filling up with blood. it looked like a massacre in my mouth. my tongue had a thick red coat and the tips of my teeth were tinged pink. i wanted to paint this picture as vividly as possible. however, because of the extra time i put into securing my bun that morning and the carmex i applied as soon as waking up, i still managed to be cute (when my mouth was closed. and it's a possibility for you, too!)

what i learned from this experience is that the average person is a giant, quivering vagina. i was hyped up for nothing. i totally could've gone to work the next day. the only reason i even took off was because i thought i'd look like quasimodo and i'm a little vain. true story. but why work when you can sleep in, actually see an episode of oprah for once and live your life the way you wanna live it? additionally, i prayed incessantly. God and i are tight, i didn't do this on my own.

i also learned that i have an outstanding mother. i'd challenge her against any other mother in the world with confidence. she took off work as well, without my asking her. she made me a trough of potato soup, ensuring that all potatoes and onions were pureed and babyfied. sure, she forgot to make sure i was elevated for the first 2o minutes i was sleeping while i swallowed my own blood, but she was busy making soup & mopping my blood trail off the floor. i forgive her.

i went back in today because i felt some bone sticking through my gums, poking the side of my tongue. it hurts, and i couldn't ignore it anymore.
apparently, when they removed the teeth, the new bone freedom caused expansion. and my life to be ruined. the oral surgeon gave me 2 options. i can either have surgery that involves "a small incision", "repositioning gums", etc. OR i can use my finger to mash the bone back in. yeah, i didn't make any of that up. i'd have to push the area over time until it moves back into a place that is more comfortable to me. other than the obvious, the problem with this is IT HURTS! when he showed me what i'd be doing i almost punched him.
*sigh* i should've known there'd be a catch.

t minus 14 hours

tomorrow i'm getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. i've been putting it off for years. now that i've been successfully pressured into it, i've spent the better part of my time researching the good and the bad. i'd like the share with you a few pictures that i've found. i hope to be an enigma and NOT look like them:
- wish me luck.

world, meet delicious

yeah, that's right. if you close your eyes, they taste real. and if you're a fat kid like me, you'll understand why next time i'm gonna put them in a bowl and add vanilla ice cream.

why must things like this always be for "a limited time"?

conspiracy theory.

i have yet to hear a convincing argument to support not legalizing marijuana. although i'm not necessarily an advocate of it (it smells), i find logic in the pothead argument for legalization. knowing that cigarettes and alcohol are legal freedoms that we have...it just doesn't make sense.
how many weed-related deaths have you been aware of? this grid represents annual causes of death, taken from drugwarfacts.org:

everyone knows what type of dangers alcohol, nicotine and tobacco provide.

taken from saferchoice.org

everyone knows someone or knows of someone that's had an alcohol or tobacco-related death. yet, instead of banning them, the government imposed a legal age?? does this blow anyone's mind other than mine?


it seems as if they want us to kill ourselves off, slowly. what other reason would there be?

escape.

grooveshark is my bff at work. i never got into pandora and when i decided to try it, i learned it was blocked.*angry face*
it has found about 94% of the songs i've asked it to and i've been keeping a playlist infinity-long. here's a sample of what i'm listening to:

1. brand new heavies - never stop
2. kiley dean - make me a song
3. martin luther - daily bread
4. via audio - harder on me
5. erykah badu - turn me away (get munny)
6. lady antebellum - need you now
7. slakah the beatchild - enjoy yaself
8. frayne - weekend
9. cee lo - f*ck you
10. the tontons - atlas
11. yelawolf - speak her sex
12. elton john - bennie & the jets
13. kid cudi, bethany cosentino and rostam batmanglij - all summer
14. bone - for the love of money
15. priscilla renea - lovesick
16. lupe fiasco - i'm beamin
17. gyptian - hold yuh
18. the knux - f!re
19. wale - the trip (downtown)

my music is random like me :)

eats adventure

i promised some friends i'd report this, so...

in late july, during my 3-day staycation, i was up late watching tv. we all know that at 3am it's difficult to find quality programming. i ended up on pbs because of the food title "Get Delicious! Atlanta's Hidden Restaurant Treasures". uhh, yes please!

the host was a big burly dude with a long ZZ Top goatee, he looked like the epitome of all tasty food knowledge. *straight face* thou shalt not judge...so this guy knows what he's talking about. he led the show by tossing out his credentials. Jim Stacy, a self-proclaimed "foodie" owns and operates a corn dog/tamale cart and is the manager of the Starlight Drive-in. He took us to about 8 different places where he ate and critiqued and suggested the most popular things each restaurant had to offer.
this is the type of show i need in my life. i love when someone does the work for me and all i have to do is show up.
so i made a list of all of the places of interest and promised i'd take myself to lunch the following day. and please note that all of these places are wallet-friendly.

day1 - Carver's Country Kitchen

i arrived later than i had planned, around 2:40pm, since i had hella errands to run that day and the starvation i was feeling was slowly sending me into a depression. luckily they still had food available. the food is lined up in a window, and the specials change daily so there's no menu. Jim Stacy had suggested the fried chicken that was a Carver's staple, but they were all out. so i went for the country fried chicken (or was it steak?). naturally mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans go well together so i added them plus a biscuit and sweet tea to round it all out in the most southern way possible.

it was delicious! one might say that i felt so happy with my meal b/c of the starvation, but that's not the case. i was impressed. and the customer service matched. i ate there, oblivious to the fact that they close at 3 - my bad! but they assured me it was not a problem and told me to take my time.

disappointed about missing out on the chicken, i went for the other highly recommended coca cola cake. it was so good and moist, like somebody's grandma would make.

i will be back.

day2 - The Beautiful

i had been to The Beautiful before, but i didn't eat. it was roughly 5 years ago and at the time, the beautiful was a popular after hours spot. they've changed their hours, i'm guessing to keep the hooligans out, because business was most definitely booming.
anyway, i didn't wanna eat alone again and since i knew my sister was working from home, i invited her. (she's preggers right now, so she doesn't turn down food. she's usually all about low carbs, grilled chicken and salad. this is where we differ.)
Similar to Carver's, there's no menu and the food is on display. The Beautiful has a cafeteria feel in that there are people lined up ready to fix your plate and you're in a single file line with a tray. here, they offer more of the deep south (slave food, as i like to call it) - oxtails & neck bones are definitely available. i chose to keep it simple.

that's crab-stuffed flounder, mac n cheese and string beans with potatoes. i really like string beans. everything was good, but it wasn't great. it's funny that every time i see something labeled as "crab-stuffed" i go for it, yet 90% of the time i'm not into it.
and by funny, i mean irritating.
however, the mac n cheese was solid. even though i love it just like the average person, i rarely order it b/c i think people are really lazy about it. i CAN'T STAND mac n cheese that doesn't taste cheesy. <-- pet peave. all in all, it was cool. it was inexpensive. i'll probably try them again. been thinkin bout oxtails...:)

day3 - Ria's Bluebird

this idea actually came from an Atlanta Magazine article. in every issue they do restaurant reviews and this was maybe my 3rd time seeing it mentioned. they referred to it as an "atlanta staple" which apparently i can't resist. i try to read reviews on yelp.com before making decisions. i like to read 3 good and 3 bad and then proceed from there. a bad review won't keep me from going somewhere i wanna go, but it helps to lower my expectation. anyway, all signs pointed to 'yes'.

this time, i picked up my brother for a late brunch. i'm a good samaritan and figured he'd be good company.
he wasn't. but that's neither here nor there.
Ria's is one of those places that serves breakfast all day. i love breakfast, so i ordered a basic breakfast for lunch. we were sat at the bar, which i also like. i can see better or something.



do you see how regular my food looks? it had a taste to match. i've had more happiness on my plate at IHOP. but then again i love ihop, so perhaps the comparison is unfair. either way, booooo! the bacon tasted a bit like spiced leather boots, the eggs hadn't been seasoned and that ramekin of thin, runny syrup was sad. never again.

my bro ordered a steak quesadilla. it certainly looked better than my food, but i didn't taste it and having an incessantly-starving man review food is like having a rapist review coochie. can 1 really be better than another?

another low point is when i asked my server for more runny syrup, an additional charge showed up on my bill. really? that isht shoulda been free, but she still could have said something.

Ria's, i won't be back.

the social network.

a dear friend gave me 2 passes to see the screening of the social network last night. considering from the moment i saw the 1st preview i had decided i would see it (even if i had to go on opening night, which i'm largely opposed to), i was thrilled to be able to beat the crowd.

the movie was a bit better than expected. very well acted, even from our high-pitched friend, justin timberlake. his speaking voice is NOT sexy.
i digress.
i had never really delved into mark zuckerberg's life, i was just thankful for him. and for the facebook. i never thought i'd be one to be so involved on a social networking site but apparently it's a good fit. being able to keep in touch with friends and family without having to pick up the phone is priceless.
am i digressing again? i support the movie, go see it.

2 thumbs.

#EddieLongHairPiece

i'm not on twitter, but a friend of mine has his twitter and facebook accounts linked, so i had the pleasure of being a part of this fry fest.
(can't post them all, it's been going on forever. currently on comment #90...)

behold: before & after.

#EddieLongHairPiece
run off batteries!!!
was baptized in the Gulf during the BP oil spill
is really chuck norris arm pit hair
will join Lebron, Wade & Bosh in Miami. #thebig4
comes with sides burn and muscle shirt ....its a kids meal at Mickey D's
killed tupac
found waldo and carmen san diego
ghosts writes for drake and nicki minaj
is going to survive when the world ends in 2012
is an extra in tyler perry next movie
comin out wit a reality show! "Real Atlanta House #Wigs"
can walk on water and not get wet
taught Dougie Fresh how to Dougie
has filed a counter suit
use to be a co host on Double Dare
was the landlord of 227
whistles.
has released 2 mixtapes.
Framed roger rabbit
Does a care bear stare with a newbirth symbol
shot J.R.
Was Tom from Myspace's first friend
Gave majic johnson the cure
Was mr roper from three's company fashion consultant
is a stunt double.
loves rockin jeggings!
is octomom's baby daddy

*these were copied and pasted. any and all grammatical/punctuation/spelling errors aren't mine.

curses!

you know that last bite of food from your meal, waiting to be savored ever-so-slowly? that last bite that is a combination of everything that was on your plate as an immediate reminder of how tastetastic your meal was? yeah, you know what i'm talkin about.

well, i just dropped mine. from my fork to the collar on my white shirt, to the boob-catch area of my white shirt, to my grey jeans, to the floor.
it was pasta.
so not only did i miss out on the last bite, but now i look like i'm in 2nd grade.

and i wonder why i'm single.

1984

remember this stuff and their slogan?

"nuprin. little. yellow. different."

random!

once, i punched my brother in the face.

do you care? you shouldn't. especially if you don't know my brother.

i wanted to quickly address how consumed i think people are with other people's lives. this bothers me for 2 reasons - 1) i'm private and 2) there are so many other things that matter that we can care about.

these people have been in the media heavy recently

all have been judged, all have been hated. i just can't bring myself to care. don't get me wrong, i read about it. i even listen to other people's opinions. but that's what brought me here. how can you be so judgmental about another person? another person that you don't even know, at that. how can someone you've never met have such a huge effect on your feelings?
when my family and/or money start to be affected by the actions of strangers, i'll get revved up. in the meantime, i believe the judging should be reserved only for people that don't make mistakes.
aww, nuts! that means you're out.

update: takers.

when i posted about Takers before, it was expected to be released in february. it turned into late august. i'm not a fan of opening night, so i waited until this past weekend to see it. yeah, it was full of sexy. yeah, it kept my attention. it wasn't riveting, but i didn't need that. i'm not hard to please. i will say that the skinny one, hayden christensen, impressed me. he wasn't even on my radar before.

about t.i...you just can't take the hood out of him. that dsgb (down south georgia boy) accent doesn't seem like it's going anywhere. his best performance for me was in ATL because he basically played himself. when he gets to the point where he can alter his speech (like idris elba), i'll call t.i. an actor.

*spoiler alert*
when he gets caught at the end with the bags of money and yells out "i'm taking what's mine!" i laughed out loud. they should have rewritten that :/

ahh, i love it when blacks, whites and browns can some together sexily for my viewing pleasure.

rating: B+

side hustle #14.

y'all know about my hobbies, right? graphic design, cooking, jewelry making, photography, writing,etc. well now i'm interested in sewing. i started a class last week and this is how i feel about it :

there's so much to learn, so many mistakes to be made and so many factors that go into making the perfect garment. and poking yourself with a quilting needle feels like a small death.

i sound like i'm complaining, but i'm actually quite thankful for the opportunity. the instructor is relatively inexpensive, compared to the large commercial classes offered at Jo Ann's Fabric. and she's really patient, which is good for me considering i'm a tard. i literally have a question a minute.

why am i sewing? well, i have a habit of coming up with great ideas in my mind, then i'll spend all my time searching online and malls for something that doesn't really exist. also, i'm tall and curvy. not everything that i fall in love with loves me back. it'll be nice to have tailor-made clothes. as i get older, i'm learning that i have expensive taste. i could literally save 90% by making things myself. so i'm going through frustration now, in order to eliminate it in the future. i hope & plan (& pray) to get good at this. i enjoy being self-sufficient where i can.

my instructor said she was impressed that i finished my skirt in the 1st class, since no one else has made that type of progress. i'm still trying to figure out if she's making that up.
i went back yesterday to add some Elle B flair to it (the vertical ruffle). had to make it fit my personality! i meant to take pictures of the process, but i was so overwhelmed it didn't happen. here's the finished product.

transforming trash.

my latest trip to the thrift store was a good one. (anytime i make a purchase i'm eager to wear/use/display, it's a good trip.) i don't usually have much luck at goodwill, i mainly use them for old school cameras for my dad's collection. but this time, something in the air told me i was gonna get lucky. and i did! when i found this gem, i actually spent a good 3 minutes laughing at it and turning it around and inside out trying to figure out what exactly it was and who would wear such a thing. well, apparently i would. seriously, on the hanger it looked like a hippie potato sack. i tried it on to be funny. though ample boobs are a gift and a curse, that day i felt gifted since this type of dress needs curves in order to define it (beyond a potato sack.)
it ties in the back and the bottom is elastic, so i can hike it up and slut it out or wear it to "meet the parents".
that night, i showed it to my sister - who's older, conservative and lives in a box. she looked at it like it was a freak show at the fair. it was then that i knew i'd picked a winner.
i'm pleased, but it's so very stylized, i fear i won't have a chance to wear it until the spring. *sad face*

i also found this cutie.no, i didn't buy it. but i laughed at it for a while. is this not an old school cell phone case - circa zack morris?? hilarious.

speaking of old cell phones, during my preparation for a garage sale, i found all my old ones. 2000 - 2008 -->
my 1st one, the ericsson, was given to me for christmas during my freshman year of college. i needed 2 hands to hold it because of the weight and it was prepaid. once i called my parents to tell them i'd made it back to school safely, it was pretty much done. ahh, the memories. and i had about 12 different snap-on cases for my nokia. who DIDN'T have that phone at some point? that was when Snake was the best game on a phone.
i feel old.
the one in the middle was cool because i could program the color the light would flash as well as the song that would play for a particular caller. i believe this was unprecedented at this time. so all 4 of my crushes had a song i'm too embarrassed to share and a flashing red light. regular people got blue. i never claimed to be normal.

"it's so intense".

super funny.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

superbowl.

2/7/2010 - i'm backtracking

when my friend Amy invited me to her house for a superbowl party i was thrilled. not because of my love for football (because i have none), but because i got a chance to get back in the kitchen. plus, Amy's quite the overachiever when it comes to food, so i was forced to not be lazy. no dips, no cupcakes.
i used a combination of internet research and my mom's recipe to make my version of mushroom turnovers. sounds blah, right? well, i'm not a mushroom fan, but there's something about my mom's style of foodism that makes me eat things i would normally pass on. and even though i think making dough is the devil, i did it. Amy would never use store-bought dough.

1st, i sauteed some onions in butter. (could have been some EVOO in there too, but i can't remember back that far.)
surprisingly, my mom said it was cool to use canned mushrooms. i like everything super small and minced.
add the mushrooms to the onions. then add sour cream & any other seasonings you're into. mine is top secret - get your own.

the dough was simple: flour, butter and cream cheese. i rolled it out and used a glass to cut circles. yes, this was annoying, b/c i had to keep reforming the dough into a ball and rolling it out again. and the width of the circles was oh-so-important. i hate to sound like a negative nancy, but honesty is key. i don't want anyone to be misled...like i was.
however, i will say that homemade dough is far better than any store-bought kind. it was well worth the effort.

last, you spoon a little bit of the mushroom filling in the center of the dough circle, fold it in half and press the edges together with a fork. then bake. i brushed the tops with egg yolk, it creates a pretty "finished" look.
these things smell like pot roast in the oven. a strange hunger will take over you.
i didn't photograph the finished product because the savages at Amy's house wouldn't let me. but you get the idea.

i don't even have a speech prepared...

if there were an award for being inconsistent, i'd have one.
and it would be large.
forgive me. i'm about to hit y'all with a whole lot. wait for it...

the proof's in the pudding.

you ever watch those documentaries on 'poverty in america'? ever wonder why those people are so large if they're impoverished?

no? i have. i have for years. and it finally hit me - fat food is cheap. from chef boyardee to hungry man dinners, you can feed a family of 4 for under $10. then there's the dollar menu. it's a hardcore fat trap. i'm guilty of taking advantage on my cheap days. i mean, why wouldn't you? *raises hand* ooh, ooh, i know! because your calves will start to resemble thighs.

think about it. salads, grilled chicken breast, fruit and even bottled water all cost more than their fattier counterparts. i don't know how to take that as anything other than disrespect.

the next question my mind wants to ask is why are less fatty things more expensive? let's take milk for example. whole is $2.25, skim is about $3.50. my logic and deductive reasoning tell me that whole milk is milk in it's natural state. straight from the cow. whereas skim milk has to go through some sort of process to eliminate the fat, therefore incurring more cost due to labor. smart, huh?
i don't truly know the answers. i just want the world to become a better place. starting with a tastetastic salad i can order that won't cost me more than $5.19.