the calm before the storm.

good news - i AM an enigma!
after my quadruple tooth extraction, my face did not swell :)
i was given 2 different pain prescriptions - 1 of which i only took for 2 days because it was weak and preventing me from driving. the pain, though irritating, was bearable :)
after i woke up from the initial deep slumber i was a normal, functioning human being :)
i never used the ice pack, nor the anti-nausea medication they gave me :)

from what i hear, surgery took about 20 minutes. when i was coherent, they walked me to a "wake up" room, put me in a recliner and covered me with a blanket for a few minutes while i got it together. they had avatar on the big screen, but i was more interested in the drooling guy to my left. he looked a hot mess. all i kept thinking was "do i look like that?" shortly after, the dental assistant came to get me, she told me my mom had pulled around to the back and that she would help me to the car. that's when i knew, i had to be disfigured or they would have walked my behind right through the lobby from whence i came.
i immediately pulled down the mirror to check myself out. 1st of all, they didn't wanna wipe the blood splatters off my cheeks? 2nd, my mouth was filled was gauze. that's why ol' boy in the chair next to me was looking so attractive. 3rd, the gauze was slowly filling up with blood. it looked like a massacre in my mouth. my tongue had a thick red coat and the tips of my teeth were tinged pink. i wanted to paint this picture as vividly as possible. however, because of the extra time i put into securing my bun that morning and the carmex i applied as soon as waking up, i still managed to be cute (when my mouth was closed. and it's a possibility for you, too!)

what i learned from this experience is that the average person is a giant, quivering vagina. i was hyped up for nothing. i totally could've gone to work the next day. the only reason i even took off was because i thought i'd look like quasimodo and i'm a little vain. true story. but why work when you can sleep in, actually see an episode of oprah for once and live your life the way you wanna live it? additionally, i prayed incessantly. God and i are tight, i didn't do this on my own.

i also learned that i have an outstanding mother. i'd challenge her against any other mother in the world with confidence. she took off work as well, without my asking her. she made me a trough of potato soup, ensuring that all potatoes and onions were pureed and babyfied. sure, she forgot to make sure i was elevated for the first 2o minutes i was sleeping while i swallowed my own blood, but she was busy making soup & mopping my blood trail off the floor. i forgive her.

i went back in today because i felt some bone sticking through my gums, poking the side of my tongue. it hurts, and i couldn't ignore it anymore.
apparently, when they removed the teeth, the new bone freedom caused expansion. and my life to be ruined. the oral surgeon gave me 2 options. i can either have surgery that involves "a small incision", "repositioning gums", etc. OR i can use my finger to mash the bone back in. yeah, i didn't make any of that up. i'd have to push the area over time until it moves back into a place that is more comfortable to me. other than the obvious, the problem with this is IT HURTS! when he showed me what i'd be doing i almost punched him.
*sigh* i should've known there'd be a catch.

t minus 14 hours

tomorrow i'm getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. i've been putting it off for years. now that i've been successfully pressured into it, i've spent the better part of my time researching the good and the bad. i'd like the share with you a few pictures that i've found. i hope to be an enigma and NOT look like them:
- wish me luck.

eats adventure

i promised some friends i'd report this, so...

in late july, during my 3-day staycation, i was up late watching tv. we all know that at 3am it's difficult to find quality programming. i ended up on pbs because of the food title "Get Delicious! Atlanta's Hidden Restaurant Treasures". uhh, yes please!

the host was a big burly dude with a long ZZ Top goatee, he looked like the epitome of all tasty food knowledge. *straight face* thou shalt not judge...so this guy knows what he's talking about. he led the show by tossing out his credentials. Jim Stacy, a self-proclaimed "foodie" owns and operates a corn dog/tamale cart and is the manager of the Starlight Drive-in. He took us to about 8 different places where he ate and critiqued and suggested the most popular things each restaurant had to offer.
this is the type of show i need in my life. i love when someone does the work for me and all i have to do is show up.
so i made a list of all of the places of interest and promised i'd take myself to lunch the following day. and please note that all of these places are wallet-friendly.

day1 - Carver's Country Kitchen

i arrived later than i had planned, around 2:40pm, since i had hella errands to run that day and the starvation i was feeling was slowly sending me into a depression. luckily they still had food available. the food is lined up in a window, and the specials change daily so there's no menu. Jim Stacy had suggested the fried chicken that was a Carver's staple, but they were all out. so i went for the country fried chicken (or was it steak?). naturally mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans go well together so i added them plus a biscuit and sweet tea to round it all out in the most southern way possible.

it was delicious! one might say that i felt so happy with my meal b/c of the starvation, but that's not the case. i was impressed. and the customer service matched. i ate there, oblivious to the fact that they close at 3 - my bad! but they assured me it was not a problem and told me to take my time.

disappointed about missing out on the chicken, i went for the other highly recommended coca cola cake. it was so good and moist, like somebody's grandma would make.

i will be back.

day2 - The Beautiful

i had been to The Beautiful before, but i didn't eat. it was roughly 5 years ago and at the time, the beautiful was a popular after hours spot. they've changed their hours, i'm guessing to keep the hooligans out, because business was most definitely booming.
anyway, i didn't wanna eat alone again and since i knew my sister was working from home, i invited her. (she's preggers right now, so she doesn't turn down food. she's usually all about low carbs, grilled chicken and salad. this is where we differ.)
Similar to Carver's, there's no menu and the food is on display. The Beautiful has a cafeteria feel in that there are people lined up ready to fix your plate and you're in a single file line with a tray. here, they offer more of the deep south (slave food, as i like to call it) - oxtails & neck bones are definitely available. i chose to keep it simple.

that's crab-stuffed flounder, mac n cheese and string beans with potatoes. i really like string beans. everything was good, but it wasn't great. it's funny that every time i see something labeled as "crab-stuffed" i go for it, yet 90% of the time i'm not into it.
and by funny, i mean irritating.
however, the mac n cheese was solid. even though i love it just like the average person, i rarely order it b/c i think people are really lazy about it. i CAN'T STAND mac n cheese that doesn't taste cheesy. <-- pet peave. all in all, it was cool. it was inexpensive. i'll probably try them again. been thinkin bout oxtails...:)

day3 - Ria's Bluebird

this idea actually came from an Atlanta Magazine article. in every issue they do restaurant reviews and this was maybe my 3rd time seeing it mentioned. they referred to it as an "atlanta staple" which apparently i can't resist. i try to read reviews on yelp.com before making decisions. i like to read 3 good and 3 bad and then proceed from there. a bad review won't keep me from going somewhere i wanna go, but it helps to lower my expectation. anyway, all signs pointed to 'yes'.

this time, i picked up my brother for a late brunch. i'm a good samaritan and figured he'd be good company.
he wasn't. but that's neither here nor there.
Ria's is one of those places that serves breakfast all day. i love breakfast, so i ordered a basic breakfast for lunch. we were sat at the bar, which i also like. i can see better or something.



do you see how regular my food looks? it had a taste to match. i've had more happiness on my plate at IHOP. but then again i love ihop, so perhaps the comparison is unfair. either way, booooo! the bacon tasted a bit like spiced leather boots, the eggs hadn't been seasoned and that ramekin of thin, runny syrup was sad. never again.

my bro ordered a steak quesadilla. it certainly looked better than my food, but i didn't taste it and having an incessantly-starving man review food is like having a rapist review coochie. can 1 really be better than another?

another low point is when i asked my server for more runny syrup, an additional charge showed up on my bill. really? that isht shoulda been free, but she still could have said something.

Ria's, i won't be back.

curses!

you know that last bite of food from your meal, waiting to be savored ever-so-slowly? that last bite that is a combination of everything that was on your plate as an immediate reminder of how tastetastic your meal was? yeah, you know what i'm talkin about.

well, i just dropped mine. from my fork to the collar on my white shirt, to the boob-catch area of my white shirt, to my grey jeans, to the floor.
it was pasta.
so not only did i miss out on the last bite, but now i look like i'm in 2nd grade.

and i wonder why i'm single.

sadness & despair.

for 6 months i've stalked these boots, constantly questioning whether i truly need them or not. after all, i already own a cognac boot. and i already own a tall flat boot. but my heart (and my closet) keeps telling me i need a tall, flat, cognac boot. so there i was, on the edge of a decision when my mom swoops in with a save. she bought them in an effort to bribe me - SWEET! it worked. whatever you want mom.
they arrived at my home in 48 hours (shout out to endless.com) and i was more than eager to put them on. good amount of space for my toes? check. nice fit around my calf? check. doesn't stab me when i walk? yeah, didn't plan for that. i was too sad to be pissed, what a waste of a shoe! and my longing! and my mom's bribery!
i'm gonna take them to the local shoe guy. if he gives me that look that he's given me before, meaning "this is an issue beyond me", then i'll send them back. with tear stains on the leather.

booby gap.

i have 2 consistent obstacles that make it difficult to shop for clothes - my height and my boobs. this cute, simple, ON SALE dress would have been a nice addition to my closet had it not been for the booby gap. there's no way around it. i've tried pushing through it before and ended up looking like a classless whore. my tots aren't even that big, you'd think i was a double D.
anyway, i shared because i'm pretty confident i'm not the only one afflicted by this nuisance. i guess i'll try to re-create it myself.

1st and last.

can you tell what these things became?


nobody told me baking was labor designed by the hands of satan. i hated every second of it. partially because it's so tedious and partially because i started at 11 pm. AND when you bake cookies you have to set aside atleast an hour to chill them. ugh! i had a bit of a tantrum when i got to that part.

i cook. to me, it's simpler and it allows the chef to create. i've never been a by-the-book person about anything, so the baking thing just isn't designed for my personality type. (i did however make tiny modifications, just so that i could call them my own.) nonetheless, my 1st attempt resulted in a delicious cookie.

elle's oatmeal cranberry white chocolate cookies.