"he's so hot, he makes my teeth sweat"

yep, totally saw him yesterday at the mall. he was with his wife and 2 children and i don't even have a freakin picture to prove it! he autographed the back of my business card, but i had him make it out to my sister. i'm not big on autographs. yum-my.

randominities

when people use the term 'rash decisions', they're basically saying 'irrational decisions', right? so why wouldn't the term be 'irrash decisions'?

i am uncomfortable by a woman's touch on my skin, especially if she's soft. soft handshakes are the worst.

i find it interesting that thousands of years after the decline of the paleolithic era, men still have the 'hunter' mentality. i mean, it's 2008. we can have groceries, movies, dry cleaning and even escorts delivered right to our door. which makes me wonder, how should i feel about the man who waits for women to approach him?

my dad uses the term 'monies'. it burns me up inside.

a friend recently used an alternative term for calling someone fat - "i fear you suffer from gluttony..." i love it!

when i ask how old your toddler is, i don't need to know in months (i.e. 29 months.) "he's two" will suffice.

bathroom attendants make me nervous. am i supposed to break you off because you pre-pulled the paper towels? and how do they keep the straight face while someone's blowin it up? that's ninja behavior.

i want to tie randy jackson up and beat him. then i'll show him clips from movies likes amistad, rosewood and roots so he can understand who he is and where he came from.

my freckles don't have texture. keep your hands off my face.

i will openly question your ability to make sound decisions if you choose unsweet tea over sweet. you lose extra points if you opt for the unsweet and try to sweeten it yourself.

*wink, wink*

decisions, decisions

this fool injured his finger pretty badly during practice for his college football team. when they told him he'd have to sit out for 4 months, he apparently lost his mind and had the doctor cut off the finger so that he could play. my favorite part of the article:
Trevor only has one regret. The doctor didn't give him the finger. "I wanted to make a necklace out of it." It'd also be a great gag at Subway!

vice-presidential debate

this sums it up, cleverly.

spare me

*i wrote this ages ago - august 28th, 2006 to be exact. but i thought i'd bring it here in order to expand my audience. 2 years later, i feel the same way.

I am so sick of hearing about these dysfunctional relationship scenarios. you know the typical one where everything seems cool from the outside, but the dude continues to cheat on his girl. and the girl just sits around at home, by herself on the weekends, looking pitiful. it's sad. pathetic-sad.

to the girls, he only does what you allow him to do. so either grow some balls and let that nigga know, or suck it up and quit complaining to your friends. i guarantee they're thisclose to being OVER IT. and to the guys, a lot of you are under the influence that you can continue on with your cheater lifestyle as long as you want b/c your chick's at home missing you. she would never cheat on YOU, right? stupid Ass. love to break it to ya - not all of us are pathetic. y'all are victims too, you're just oblivious. so many of you are being played as you read this, by your "good girl" at home. it's ridiculous for you to think she's inhuman. we have needs too! it may not be a sexual type of situation, but there's a guy that she's kickin it with who makes her laugh more than you do, asks her about her day, notices and compliments her when she changes her hair and most importantly, makes her feel special.

in addition to being able to vent my frustration, i also wanted to pose this question; if you have a wandering eye, wandering jimmy, whatever, why agree to be in a relationship? what is it about a boyfriend/girlfriend title that people are so hype about?

10.02.008
and another thing! gentlemen, it is beyond self-centered for you to hold on to a chick simply because you don't want anyone else to have her. from my observation, this behavior has become commonplace. i personally know both offenders and victims of this type of scenario. let her go! am i the only one who believes in karma?

during the past couple of years, my dad has steadily been dropping knowledge on me about men. (he just recently accepted that i have shared a kiss...gotta love him!) so i'm talking to him about marriage and what makes a man decide he's ready. and my father tells me, straight up, that most men decide to marry a woman so that she can no longer be on the market. sadly, i was not surprised. but i couldn't help but wonder, am i naive for thinking that i can and will marry for love, there's a perfect person for me and we will share a mutual love for each other? as a self-proclaimed "realist", i whole-heartedly believe these things. i refuse to settle. there's a sort of desperacy in that that is not attractive in a woman. i'd rather be single than with someone who's not right for me. someone close to me recently accepted her boyfriend's proposal because she knew he'd be a good provider and they have fun together.

*crickets*

word? that's it? so the way he talks to you when he's frustrated is cool? the fact that his culture requires you to downplay your personality is aight? the fact that your family finds him to be a cocky bastard is straight? and don't get me started on his face. YIKES. most importantly, she wasn't in love with him. she loves what she hopes he will be. no butterflies. she says they'll come eventually. i cannot support this. can you?

jaspects broke up

i thought it was a joke at first, but i called around and the devastating news was confirmed. they'll always be in my heart.

9.27.08, at the loft


this one is quite possibly my favorite...