Tuesday, November 30, 2010

the calm before the storm.

good news - i AM an enigma!
after my quadruple tooth extraction, my face did not swell :)
i was given 2 different pain prescriptions - 1 of which i only took for 2 days because it was weak and preventing me from driving. the pain, though irritating, was bearable :)
after i woke up from the initial deep slumber i was a normal, functioning human being :)
i never used the ice pack, nor the anti-nausea medication they gave me :)

from what i hear, surgery took about 20 minutes. when i was coherent, they walked me to a "wake up" room, put me in a recliner and covered me with a blanket for a few minutes while i got it together. they had avatar on the big screen, but i was more interested in the drooling guy to my left. he looked a hot mess. all i kept thinking was "do i look like that?" shortly after, the dental assistant came to get me, she told me my mom had pulled around to the back and that she would help me to the car. that's when i knew, i had to be disfigured or they would have walked my behind right through the lobby from whence i came.
i immediately pulled down the mirror to check myself out. 1st of all, they didn't wanna wipe the blood splatters off my cheeks? 2nd, my mouth was filled was gauze. that's why ol' boy in the chair next to me was looking so attractive. 3rd, the gauze was slowly filling up with blood. it looked like a massacre in my mouth. my tongue had a thick red coat and the tips of my teeth were tinged pink. i wanted to paint this picture as vividly as possible. however, because of the extra time i put into securing my bun that morning and the carmex i applied as soon as waking up, i still managed to be cute (when my mouth was closed. and it's a possibility for you, too!)

what i learned from this experience is that the average person is a giant, quivering vagina. i was hyped up for nothing. i totally could've gone to work the next day. the only reason i even took off was because i thought i'd look like quasimodo and i'm a little vain. true story. but why work when you can sleep in, actually see an episode of oprah for once and live your life the way you wanna live it? additionally, i prayed incessantly. God and i are tight, i didn't do this on my own.

i also learned that i have an outstanding mother. i'd challenge her against any other mother in the world with confidence. she took off work as well, without my asking her. she made me a trough of potato soup, ensuring that all potatoes and onions were pureed and babyfied. sure, she forgot to make sure i was elevated for the first 2o minutes i was sleeping while i swallowed my own blood, but she was busy making soup & mopping my blood trail off the floor. i forgive her.

i went back in today because i felt some bone sticking through my gums, poking the side of my tongue. it hurts, and i couldn't ignore it anymore.
apparently, when they removed the teeth, the new bone freedom caused expansion. and my life to be ruined. the oral surgeon gave me 2 options. i can either have surgery that involves "a small incision", "repositioning gums", etc. OR i can use my finger to mash the bone back in. yeah, i didn't make any of that up. i'd have to push the area over time until it moves back into a place that is more comfortable to me. other than the obvious, the problem with this is IT HURTS! when he showed me what i'd be doing i almost punched him.
*sigh* i should've known there'd be a catch.

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